The Burger Guild

The Burger Guild is located at the a la Carts Food Pavilion (SE 50th and Ivon). If you're from the Midwest (or know someone who is), make sure to go here!

Pork Tenderloin sandwiches? Dang, I didn't have to travel to the Midwest after all! But for me, it's all about the stuffed burgers. Having been to Minnesota for some Jucy Lucys, I figured this may be as close as I'd otherwise get to having another for the foreseeable future.

(FYI, another Portland cart, Lucy's Original, serves Jucy Lucys, but has not been seen for months. The last time I checked, the owners had taken a winter hiatus -- but may do rare catering appearances.)

The non-burger menu
(March 2012)

Stuffed burger menu
(March 2012)

Not surprisingly, I ordered the only burger that described anything with kick. For the Jalapeno and Cheddar stuffed burger ($7.50) sliced jalapenos and cheddar cheese are stuffed between two Cascade Natural beef patties, then grilled up.

The cheese transformed into bubbly, sexy attire. I get the picture. The beef patties became the change room to slip into something more comfortable. Aw, and look at how the cheese models jalapeno lingerie so well!

Fried onion rings and smoky chipotle are added. The latter even possesses a noticeable backend zip. Suddenly, the cheese/beef duo has perfume and a lasso to reel me in. Just perfect. This seriously calls for food porn music. The whole ensemble is so dang unfair to a gluttonous panda.

Oh, we can't forget the refreshing lettuce and tomato, because something on this burger must be healthy.

Anyway, for food photo purposes, I sliced through the middle, revealing the glorious cross-section. The cheese raced out from between the patties like a flowing river.

Jalapeno & Cheddar Stuffed Burger
(The Burger Guild)

Cross-section!
*sings* Cry me a river...cry me a river....

In my opinion, there are very few ways I'd want to eat a burger. Stuffing cheese and chiles between meat patties would be one of them. The jalapenos still had a little crunch to it, retaining a powerful green color. The whole burger was beautiful from bun to bun. I stared down the multitude of colors like a cat plotting its attack on a mouse. Hypnotizing....

Each burger comes with free chips. You can get fries or onion rings instead for a couple bucks more.

What greeted me upon opening the takeout box

Two ideas for next time:

(1) Ask if spicier peppers can be used in these burgers. Perhaps some habaneros and ghost peppers can be sparingly added. After all, we don't want to decimate the population here, right?

(2) I must add bacon. It may cost a little more, but who cares? It's meat crack.

All the menu items sound great. I've found another place to get a great burger, and I'll have to come back for more! 8.5/10

The Frying Scotsman (Part 2)

(Original Review -- November 2011)

Haggis.

What a surprise...I went back to downtown Portland for that! I arrived at The Frying Scotsman around 12:45 in early March. Despite the massive lunch crowd waiting for James' fish and chips, this cart got my attention.for sheep's pluck!

Regular menu
(March 2012)

James keeps the haggis frozen. He'll batter and deep-fry these bad boys if you want to try them. It's not on the regular posted menu (at least as of the time of this post). I've never had 'em before, but I'm a curious panda!

The haggis are in a casing, shaped like a sausage. I got just one, with no chips, for $4. James said he'd usually have this with some mashed potatoes. Ketchup would be his condiment of choice. After James completed his deep-frying magic, I quickly found a place to try the haggis, with a container of ketchup in tow.

Deep-fried haggis
(The Frying Scotsman)

Cross-section!

I'll be honest here: I liked it. Haggis may not be the first thing people would get here in the States, but this was pretty good. It had the consistency of a lightly packed sausage, mild in flavor. You're eating part of a sheep, so if you like lamb or mutton, you'd probably like this.

Excellent breading and frying. The crunch James creates during the cooking process is masterful stuff. Unfortunately, I felt the exterior was overly greasy. I think I was sweating oil after all was said and done. Wish it was the type of oil that would make me rich instead, then I can travel wherever I want! To be fair, the haggis had just come out of the fryer.

The deep-fried Mars bar on the menu kept staring at me in the face. Dammit. Food just loves to torture me. The feeling's mutual. Now you see why I may refer to my food noshings as executions.

Head to The Frying Scotsman and try those haggis. Hey, if you won't eat it, I will. 7.25/10 (no change in rating)

The Swamp Shack

(NOTE: Trey closed his downtown location in spring 2013.)

The Swamp Shack is a cajun/creole food cart located near SW 5th and Stark in downtown Portland, Oregon. Owner Trey Corkern hails from Louisiana, growing up in a town just north of New Orleans.

Portland BBQ Company

(UPDATE 1/12/13: Food Carts Portland reports that this cart has closed and will focus on catering)

The Portland BBQ Company is located near on SW Washington, between SW 9th and 10th Ave. Chris Mobray is the owner of this cart, which opened in mid-February 2012.

Bao PDX

(UPDATE 10/3/12: Food Carts Portland reported that Bao PDX has closed, but should return in the future.)

Bao PDX is a food cart located near the corner of SW 9th and Alder in downtown Portland, Oregon. Headed by Matt and Max, they aim to grace Portland with their take on great street food. And come on, Chinese bao is ideal street food, isn't it?

I visited the cart at the tail end of its first full week. Everything had been selling like hotcakes. Larger batches of food were made each passing day, with sellout after sellout (they still sell out on a daily basis, so get there early!). I only got wind of the place after it popped up on Yelp, where people had been posting rave reviews. I found them on Twitter and mentioned that I would try to get there early to assure myself some food!

At the window, another nice dude, Carter, took my order. Each bao is $3, with a $7.50 combo option also available (2 bao, chips, and a drink). This time, I opted for just two bao (pork belly and jerk chicken), no combo.

In case you're wondering: yes, they make their own bao, freshly steamed each day!

Menu
(March 2012)

Chicken on the left, pork on the right

The pork belly was wonderfully flavored, savory-sweet sensations caressing my tongue. The tangy pickled veggies contrasted excellently in texture and flavor.

And we're talking tender pork. Tender loving make-sweet-love pork. I found it futile to part from the fine meat, although I had to remove the top layer of fat on my piece. Anyway... (continues to chomp away) Oh bloody hell, it's all gone? Damn. Still got another bao, though.

Pork belly bao
(Bao PDX)

The jerk chicken was moist and juicy. Again, the blessing flavor is present enough to allow you to appreciate all the components. Do people really believe cilantro tastes like soap? My dad would probably say yes, but fortunately, I have my mom's taste buds. We'd probably eat cilantro straight by the damn fistful.

Jerk chicken bao
(Bao PDX)

These guys also have spam, that awesome mystery meat thingy that has a cult following in Hawaii. I would say that's winner winner spammy dinner.

Matt stepped out of the cart during peak lunch feeding time and personally talked with me for a bit. I've been to a lot of carts, folks, and not every cart owner does that. Max was working his other job at the time, so I didn't get to meet him. I certainly wish everyone here well. Downtown has major foot traffic, but incredible amounts of competition. Fortunately, the product at Bao PDX is simple, very affordable, and makes them stand out from the rest. Check them out ASAP! 7.5/10

Sugar Sugar

Sugar Sugar is a candy and cupcake "boutique" located in downtown Salem, Oregon. Owner Dana Heuberger had a dream to open her own candy store -- and it has become reality! Dana started selling cupcakes after realizing they went well with her vision.

Since I don't know of many candy and cupcake shops in downtown Salem, I walked on over on a Thursday, just past noon. As I walked in, I saw jars of candies lining the walls. Sixlets, Jordan almonds, and other treats, sorted by color. $2.70 per quarter pound.

I'm not a real candy person, but cupcakes are a different story. A display case deep inside this boutique held five or six different cupcakes, with varying colors of buttercream. Purple? Turquoise? Really? If not chocolate, it's probably vanilla with food coloring.

The person at the counter, who I assume was Dana herself, helped a customer as I pondered which cupcake to get. When it came time for me to order, I asked what was the most popular.

"They're all popular."

Ask a stupid question, and you'll likely receive a non-helpful response. Silly panda.

All the while, I zeroed in on Dana's mannerisms. Not much smiling. I felt no heartwarming vibe. It was not a cold stare, but certainly not the same disposition your mother, aunt, grandmother, etc., would have had. I'm sure she's a wonderful person, but it just didn't shine through this time.

I settled on a chocolate cupcake with chocolate buttercream frosting ($2.50). The cupcake had a sinful aura, the buttercream piped on with a wavy tubing and swirly finish. Edible beads (more sugar?) topped this brown masterpiece.

Chocolate cupcake with chocolate buttercream
(Sugar Sugar)

The cupcake itself was light and very good. The chocolate essence engulfed my mouth and nostrils. I swear I wasn't doing chocolaty drugs, really....

Unfortunately, the buttercream was a significant turnoff. Despite great flavor, it was extremely heavy and dense. I don't know about other people's tastes, but I'd like my buttercream frosting light and silky. Perhaps I've been spoiled by the delicacies at two Cupcake Wars-winning establishments, but I would have happily accepted any cupcake with airy, whipped frosting.

I'm not expecting owners or employees to enthusiastically greet everyone in an overly caffeinated, peppy manner, like I was some long-lost family member, but the vibe I got was not one to make me return very often. 4.5/10

Grass Roots Cafe (Part 2)

(Original Review -- January 2012)

(UPDATE: Looks like Ellis is just doing catering gigs now, from what I've been told....)

On March 6, 2012, I showed up to Grass Roots Cafe to take on the Fire Eater Challenge. I honestly didn't show up to rate the challenge. I merely wanted the thrill of taking down a previously unconquered spicy undertaking.