Tuesday, August 21, 2012

OregonMania II: Day 3 (7/29/12)

(This is the last of a three-part series chronicling OregonMania II, Naader Reda's three-day blitz in Salem and Portland. Be sure to also read Part 1 and Part 2! Also, read more below the jump break to see Naader's OregonMania II highlight video!)

To close OregonMania II out, I wanted to at least do a food challenge alongside Naader. After all, one of the original plans was to do a team pizza challenge, which unfortunately did not take place. While this was more a cruise day for the Freak, it ended up being a harsh lesson for yours truly.

Stopping at Voodoo Doughnut one more time before ending OregonMania II
Unfortunately, sugar highs bring ridiculous crashes and possible "sugar cramps," where the body doesn't have enough water to digest the sugary goodness, leaving the food in the stomach (causes gas buildup and bloating). Needless to say, I didn't get to the gym again. I'm sure the guys at 24 Hour Fitness were left wondering if something serious had happened to me after I had previously showed up (close to) every morning around 3 a.m. for my workouts.

Despite that, I wanted to make some type of impact on the last day as well. I didn't have to, and in hindsight, I shouldn't have. Yet, the stubborn panda didn't listen.

Naader spent the night in Portland, and I made the drive up from Salem again. We opted to meet at the Green Castle food pod. While there, I saw Steven Shomler of Portland Food Cart Adventures filming a segment with the Flyin' Hawaiian food cart. Great food, and another highly recommended pick from me.

Naader started his day with a classic cannoli from Holy Cannoli Wicked Italian and then got a 12 oz. coffee from Todd Edwards' Ole Latte Coffee cart. The Green Castle pod has some great eats, and you really can't go wrong here.

We then headed to The Original, site of the 5-pound poutine challenge that Naader conquered two months ago in a record nine minutes. I hadn't really eaten all day, and despite still not feeling in the best of conditions (damn sugar), I wanted to try this one anyway. One of our friends, Kari, met us at the restaurant and witnessed all this.

Waiver you must sign to take the challenge
5-pound poutine challenge. Damn.
The lunch rush was still going pretty strong even after 1 p.m., so it took a while to cook up all the french fries, cut up the blocks of cheese, and ladle on the brown gravy. When the challenge arrived on that infamous butcher's block, I swore it was larger than when Naader took it on two months prior. I then immediately saw the fries had been crisped up well -- too well for a quantity challenge, when people in general probably would fare better with softened potatoes. Yup, the panda was screwed, but I wanted to at least make a respectable showing.

The brown gravy constantly dripped off the butcher's block onto my red gym shorts, and once I knew I wasn't going to finish, I started avoiding the hardening cheese and started wiping the gravy off my shorts. Meanwhile, Naader blitzed through the challenge yet again in a more leisurely 14 minutes. How the heck he does it, I have no idea. I'd have a better shot eating a half-gallon of ice cream than finish all that poutine.

I'm guessing I still had at least 1/3 of the poutine left to go. Not one of my best showings, that's for sure.

That was painful. Pretty good, but painful.
I enjoyed the poutine for the first few bites, but I am not eating it in such mass quantity again. Everything in this meal contained fat in some way, and my stomach didn't make me forget that. A colossal mistake on my part, and it basically incapacitated me not just for the rest of the day, but for several days afterward. The aftereffects prevented me from fully getting back to the gym for the next five days. Yet another self-inflicted setback.

The three of us then moved on to Voodoo Doughnut Too, where Naader quickly dispatched the Tex-Ass Challenge. He needed 73 of the 80 seconds, and the panda scored perhaps the only non-spicy victory he'll ever get over the Freak. I now have a record similar to Glass Joe! (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out reference, FYI.)

This is NORMAL on a summer weekend at Voodoo Doughnut Too
Still feeling lethargic and sick to my stomach, I (stupidly) pressed on and agreed a large ice cream dish would be the capper for OregonMania II. So we hopped in Kari's car (me being in no position to drive), and we drove over the state border to Ice Cream Renaissance in Vancouver, Washington.

Flavors available on 7/29/12

Extremely high-quality ice cream at this great establishment. We chose the 9-scoop "I Need Excess" option for Naader to complete solo. He got nine different flavors (eight ice creams and one sorbet), then five different toppings, each coming in a sampler cup on a separate tray. 14 minutes to nuke all that deliciousness. Naader's not human, but we all knew that, right?

Doesn't that look amazing?! Damn.
Ice Cream Renaissance in Vancouver, WA
Five different toppings
Peanuts, mangoes, M&Ms, graham crackers, Oreos
It pained me that I was too out of it to enjoy any of that ice cream. However, I at least managed to get back to Vancouver a few days later to enjoy a scoop. Real good stuff here, and I'm glad I won't be too far away when I move there in September.

Freak destruction
After heading back to Voodoo Too to get my car, I drove Naader back to his car near the Green Castle pod and it was time yet again to part ways. I wish I wasn't in such poor shape at that point, or I may have suggested one last hurrah in Salem. But I guess there could be a next time.

While OregonMania II's last day wasn't the epic closing act OregonMania I showcased, it still featured some superhuman feats that would leave many scratching their heads. The Mad Greek challenge will always stay in my mind as one of the most insane challenges I've ever witnessed live. At least Naader had 90 minutes when slaying Church St. Pizza's 12-pound pizza by himself. To do a comparable amount in weight in less than an hour is even more mind-boggling.

And of course, here is my highlight video of Naader's OregonManiaII dominance:

I'd love to head down to Southern California one of these days to meet Naader on his turf. CaliMania, perhaps? It would only probably be for a weekend because I'd be taking on some serious travel costs.

I'd like to attempt a couple of spicy challenges there, but it would be equally awesome to attend a Wreckless Eating filming. I'm huge fans of their work. If you're easily entertained like me, be sure to check out their YouTube channel.

Hope you enjoyed reading three days of Freak eating. While ideas are being thrown around for a third OregonMania, no date has been set. Whether Naader and I meet again in Oregon, Washington, California, or another state, it surely will be one worth blogging about.

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