Saturday, February 18, 2012

Blues City Biscuits (Part 3)

(NOTE: Kimberly is no longer the owner at Blues City Biscuits, but a new owner took over in 2013, keeping the same name and recipes! This cart is now at the Good Food Here pod in Portland, Oregon, near SE 43rd and Belmont!)

(Original Review -- October 2011)
(Second Review -- December 2011)
(Fourth Review -- April 2012)

Ghost chile wings. Mmm...pain.

At the Cartlandia pod in February 2012

Going in, I had no clue exactly how spicy they would be, but just mentioning the ghost chile (bhut jolokia) generally strikes fear in a lot of people. I mean, it's over a million Scoville units. It brought back painful memories of the "Marine Burger" I ate at Killer Burger last May. Four dried ghost peppers in there. I was a virtual dead panda after that burger and nearly required hospitalization (not joking).

At the beginning of the year, Kimberly announced a limited-time special on her ghost chile wings, only for Super Bowl weekend. A dozen for $15. Take one guess on the only nutcase that decided to take Kimberly up on her offer. The days passed by, and all I thought about was envisioning the inevitable pain.

I decided to videotape myself eating these wings. At the worst, it could serve as my last will and testament. Hey, I'd be going down doing what I love, right? Best case scenario, a triumph for man, a few spice burns, and some dancing in the street.

I arrived just a bit after 10 a.m. the day before the Super Bowl. My timing was pretty good. Kimberly had just finished getting the wings out of the fryer.

Kimberly: "I made yours (wings) spicier than the ones I made yesterday, since I know you like 'em hot."

(Me thinking): "Oh (bleep). How thoughtful of you! Glad I got my camera!"

Kimberly: "I kept trying to assure my husband that (Aaron) wants to be killed!"


As Kimberly rattled off the ingredients in the wing sauce, it didn't sound as daunting. Frank's Red Hot for the base, tasty! Honey for sweetness, awesome! Molasses...yay stickiness! Oh wait...what is this ghost pepper vinegar and pureed pickled ghost chiles? Venturing into some unknown ingredients here! I can only imagine the heat if Kimberly used fresh or dried ghost peppers. Gotta have flavor, people!

No turning back. Paid for the wings, let's do it! Camera on...figure I can call for my last will and testament at any time.... And we're off!

Ghost Chile Wings
(Blues City Biscuits)
(Thinking after first bite): "Hmm...awesome flavor. Smoky, sweet, sticky, spicy, just as promised."
(After two wings): "Damn, this is addicting."
(Several more wings in): "Oh, there's some heat. But I can handle this."
(Near the end): "Dammit! I shoulda ordered two dozen more! So awesome!"
(Starts dipping carrot sticks and celery sticks in the wing sauce, licks fingers for camera)

Breezed through the dozen wings -- plus carrots and celery sticks -- in about six and a half minutes. No buttermilk ranch needed for a cooling agent. No water needed. No dairy ingested. I triumphed over the ghost pepper this time...well, in pickled and vinegary form.

Here's a video I created -- and a picture of 12 eaten wings. It's been on YouTube for some time, and a few of you may have already seen it. I sped up the footage of me eating so you don't have to sit around as long horrified at my poor manners. Enjoy!

Yes, I was sweating a little, and my nose was running. The wing sauce branded its presence on my face and hands. Temporary spice burns! Now I know next time...order more wings. I won't get to Kobayashi's 337 wings in 30 minutes at Wing Bowl 20, though.

The sauce was absolute money. I'd immediately do a few shots of that stuff next time. Perhaps for a person like me, habanero sauce could be part of the base. Kimberly and I both agreed we need the full-sized wings in the future.

FYI, no bad aftereffects. In fact, I hit up another place right after. But that's another review. Two wing-sauced thumbs up!

(Aaron scans Twitter a few weeks later)
"Biscuits with chocolate gravy..."
(record screeches, Aaron looks at attached picture)
(Aaron falls out of chair)

Hold the phone again! Chocolate gravy?! That sounds like something out of Willy Wonka's Southern chocolate factory. Intriguing enough for me to head back down!

Sure enough, biscuits in chocolate gravy, a special for this past week. Pretty much the standard gravy base, but adding all this chocolaty awesomeness to the picture. Topped with pecans and bacon?! Sliced bananas?! Wha-what?!?!

It also hit me on the drive to Blues City Biscuits that I hadn't even tried Kimberly's simple biscuits and gravy dish. Only one way to solve this....

For $7, I got one biscuit with the chocolate gravy and one biscuit with sausage gravy. The biscuits are such a perfect vehicle. Firm on the outside, soft on the inside.

(Photo taken 2/16/12)
Biscuits w/Sausage Gravy and Diced Bacon
(Blues City Biscuits)

Sausage gravy is so peaceful. It may have been a cold, dreary, rainy Portland day, but my mind focused on a sunny, grassy field with bunnies, flowers, and birds. Mmm...rabbit and bird stew. Er...I mean, mmm...sausage gravy.

(Photo taken 2/16/12)
Biscuit w/Chocolate Gravy, Pecans, Bacon, and Sliced Bananas
(Blues City Biscuits)

But damn. How to describe this chocolate gravy? It's a little thicker than a sauce and also not overly sweet. The chocolaty magic was like watching Captain Planet.

"By your powers combined, I'm Captain Awesomeness!"

Well, that was an unfair quintuple-team on my mouth.

The bananas were the key. With the almighty bacon and a somewhat savory chocolate, a sweet component needed to balance things out. Let's hear it for bananas! Yay! The pecans added a crunchy, nutty dimension that bolstered the dish from "woohoo!" to "holy crap, this could pass for an epic dessert-y brunch at 10:45 in the morning!"

Several hours removed from all that, my boggled mind still tried to comprehend such majesty. I guess Kimberly and her prized dishes took Chuck Norris classes. An elite cart!

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