Burger Bungalow

(Please also read Part 2 -- August 2012)

Burger Bungalow is located in Vancouver, Washington. At the time of this posting, the place is only about a year old. They have generous portion sizes for their burger combos!

So what draws a spicy-seeking panda to a burger joint? A spicy challenge, of course! And if you read the full review, you'll get to see video of me taking it on!

Please welcome the Shut Yo' Mouth challenge. Take down a Shut Yo' Mouth burger with chips or fries -- without liquids -- in 10 minutes or less. Winners receive their picture on the Wall of Flame and 50% off their next meal. The chips or fries you pick are also laced with their secret Shut Yo' Mouth sauce, which includes jalapenos and habaneros.

In the local paper!

Burger of the Month (March 2012)
That sounds so good, but I didn't order it. Oh well.

You could also get fries for the challenge
Something I probably should have done....

Wall of Flame
10 minutes to eat burger and chips/fries, plus 3-minute afterburn

I felt pretty confident going into this one, as I had taken down much spicier meals before. However, when the server brought out the mountainous basket of awesomeness, concern swept over me on whether I could finish everything within 10 minutes. A freakin' huge molehill of chips stared at me, seemingly emitting evil laughter. The beef itself was 1/3 lb. The burger contained a layer of raw sliced jalapenos and habaneros.

I had to sign a waiver, but I laughed at it. Spice wouldn't destroy me. But time, usually my only friend in spicy challenges, now worked for the enemy. No liquids exacerbated the problem. Haven't you defiled this panda enough?!

Waiver to sign before taking it on

Shut Yo' Mouth Burger and a ton of Shut Yo' Mouth Chips
(Burger Bungalow)

I channeled my inner ravenous panda and dug in. While each bite was delicious, I should have gone with fries instead of chips. Crunch crunch crunch...and stuck stuck stuck in my damn mouth. FML. Yet, I plugged away. When the server said I had two minutes left, I had just a few bites left. Finished it in 9 minutes. Winner, right?

Wrong!

Three-minute afterburn! Wait, what afterburn? While my face glistened with a little sweat, my mouth felt no pain. Oh well, I was a bored panda for three minutes, then got my official win. Perhaps I shoulda danced for the few patrons in the building at the time.

Proof of my win is logged in their files!

Worker: "So how was it...was it spicy?"
Me: (a "meh" type of response)
Worker: "Whaaaa?!" (shakes head in disbelief)

Habaneros are panda snack food. No "bad aftereffects" to report. Iron gut, perhaps?

As a bonus to my loyal readers, here's a video of me silencing this Shut Yo' Mouth Challenge!

The employees were awesome and treated me like family.  I'll be back for another burger -- with fries, this time!